How To Plan Your Same-Sex Wedding

13 min read

A same-sex wedding is just like anyone else’s: full of love and joy, with maybe a heartfelt tear or two! We regularly host LGBTQ+ weddings at our gorgeous event venues and absolutely love them. Every wedding is a chance to form close bonds with a couple and help transform their wedding ideas into a flawless event. 

To help you feel confident we’ve assembled a few of the most frequent questions we hear about same-sex weddings. If you’re gay, lesbian, trans, or any combination of the multitude of possibilities, we hope you find these helpful. You might also want to share a few of these before your wedding to get everyone on the same page.

LGBTQ Ceremony-Boulder Creek_0

 

The Revelation

When you select Wedgewood Weddings, you can expect to be welcomed by everyone. We stand up for equality and, of course, love! We’ll introduce you to our recommended vendors who echo our stance. 

Do you need to specifically come out to your vendors? No. But it can feel good to be forthright if you choose, especially if your names are gender-neutral and you prefer to have your orientation acknowledged. As you work together, your wedding vendors will understand if you need extra support or have unusual requests. 

Vellano Estate by Wedgewood Weddings

 

Formal Correspondence

Your friends and family will be excited to hear if you are combining, hyphenating, changing, or keeping your last names. You can make an official announcement, include your intentions in your wedding invitation, or update your social media handles to share the news when you’re ready!

For mail, all couples are addressed in the same way wherever their orientation: first one and then the other.

  • Couples who operate as a social unit are addressed together on the same line: Mr. and Mr. Thomas Whitehead 
  • For couples who choose to keep their own last names, you can use this format: Mrs. Angela Ownes and Mrs. Juliette Esteves 

Mrs or Ms? It’s polite for anyone new to your circle to check if you prefer Ms. or Mrs. rather than assume.

Gorgeous Lesbian Wedding - Wedgewood Weddings

 

Choice of Officiant

Most couples choose a friend to be their officiant but we can also introduce you to our recommended officiant once you have chosen a venue. Our venue’s officiant is always gay-friendly and embraces every form of love. They will be happy to meet with you before your wedding date and learn about the type of ceremony you want. 

 

Boulder Creek LGBTQ Kiss - Wedgewood Weddings

 

Same-Sex Ceremonies

We love to hear personalized vows and admire anyone courageous enough to write their own. You can adapt traditional vows if you feel they are limiting or your officiant can guide you towards suitable readings if you want to include your faith in your wedding ceremony.

 

The Retreat by Wedgewood Weddings

 

Suggested gay-friendly readings

Most readings are gender-neutral or can easily be adapted but, to save you searching, here are ten of our absolute favorite readings suitable for same-sex ceremonies. 

Untitled
Christina Rossetti

"What is the beginning? Love.
What the course. Love still.
What the goal. The goal is love.
On a happy hill.”

 

“i carry your heart with me"
ee cummings

"i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate, my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you"

 

Amy Tan

“I am like a falling star who has finally found her place next to another in a lovely constellation, where we will sparkle in the heavens forever.”

 

Maya Angelou

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”

 

Wild Awake
Hilary T. Smith

"People are like cities: We all have alleys and gardens and secret rooftops and places where daisies sprout between the sidewalk cracks, but most of the time all we let each other see is is a postcard glimpse of a skyline or a polished square. Love lets you find those hidden places in another person, even the ones they didn’t know were there, even the ones they wouldn’t have thought to call beautiful themselves."

 

The Art of Marriage
Wilferd Arlan Peterson

"Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens
A good marriage must be created
In the art of marriage the little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day
It is never going to sleep angry
It is at no time taking the other for granted;
the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
it should continue through all the years."

 

Justice Anthony Kennedy’s majority opinion in Hodges v. Obergefell

“No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In forming a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. […] The Constitution grants them that right.”

 

A Streetcar Named Desire
Tennessee Williams

“What is straight? A line can be straight, or a street, but the human heart, oh, no, it's curved like a road through mountains.”

 

Being Loved Deeply
Lao Tzu

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

 

Sonnet 116
William Shakespeare

"...Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand'ring bark,
Whose worth is unknown, although his height be taken."

Tapestry House by Wedgewood Weddings

 

Beautiful first dance song ideas

An incredible amount of couples pick their first song before they even decide to get married. They carry it in their hearts on a cloud of sentimentality. Maybe it's the first song you heard together, on an album you gave on valentine's day, or a song the matched your heart so perfectly. Here are seven that we think capture the essence of love for every type of couple. 

“Love on Top,”
by Beyoncé

Baby it's you/You're the one I love/You're the one I need/You're the only one I see

 

“Stay With Me,”
by Sam Smith

Oh, won't you stay with me?/'Cause you're all I need

 
“Stand By Me”
by Ben E. King

Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me /  Oh, stand by me / Woah, just stand now / Oh, stand, stand by me

 
“In Your Eyes”
by Peter Gabriel
whichever way I go / I come back to the place you are / All my instincts, they return

 

“Perfect Day”
by Lou Reed

Oh, it's such a perfect day / I'm glad I spent it with you / Oh, such a perfect day

“At Last”
by Etta James

At last / My love has come along / My lonely days are over / And life is like a song

 
“You Are the Best Thing”
by Ray LaMontagne
Hearts are strong, and our hearts are kind / Well, let me tell you just exactly what's on my mind / You are the best thing
 

 

***

Love always deserves to be celebrated and we welcome every couple to Wedgewood Weddings. We're honored to host couples on the most special day of their lives!

Anastasia and Jula - Carlsbad Windmill by Wedgewood Weddings

 

WEDGEWOOD WEDDINGS IS PROUD TO WORK WITH
RESPECTED WEDDING & EVENT AUTHORITIES

WW-party-started-bg2

Ready to Get This Party Started?

Learn about our venues, stress-free wedding planning process and how we can make your day unforgettable.

Book Free Venue Tour Now