Officiant Q&A: Creating Unforgettable Wedding Ceremonies

Tell us about your favorite trends for wedding ceremonies . . .

I hear these words over and over again: “You know, we’re not really religious. I mean, we believe in God/ a Higher Power/ karma, so I guess we’re more spiritual. Most importantly, we want something meaningful but fun, and not stuffy, long, or boring.” This all comes down to personalization. When you don’t prescribe to a specific religious tradition, nearly everything is fair game for customization. With that said, even my religious couples are asking for a lot more personalization in the set traditions, usually in the form of sharing their love story and finding specific readings or twists on unity ceremonies that make it more “them”.

What is your favorite part of a wedding ceremony?

I have two parts that are equally my favorites. In every ceremony I do, I share the couple’s love story. Each partner has no idea what the other person put in their love story homework and the wedding is the first time they hear what I’ve custom-written for them based on that homework. “It’s the best feeling when I can get giggles, gasps of delighted surprise, and tears of love and joy during the love story portion. I’m tearing up just thinking about it.” My other favorite part of the wedding is the vows. So much emotion comes out of couples at that moment in big and small ways. It is so moving to witness. And I have the best seat in the house!

What should couples think about when looking for an officiant?

There are two things I think couples should really look for – experience and the gut check. Experience is about how well this person knows weddings and all the nuances that make this experience so beautifully meaningful. It can be as simple as knowing to always carry tissues (I always have some in my pocket!) or something as vital as knowing how to fill out the marriage license properly so you are actually legally married. Officiating is so much more than the 15-20 minutes I’m publicly speaking on your wedding day. It’s the hours of preparation to get to know you two, writing something that sounds and feels like you, performing your ceremony in a manner that makes it all look easy and seamless. It’s also the thousands of hours of experience in walking couples through the process of writing personal vows, handling intense parents with grace on the wedding day, helping shyer couples handle all that attention during the ceremony while still being completely present to enjoy this momentous experience.

That’s where the gut check comes in. When you meet with an officiant for the first time, check what your gut reaction is to them. Do you feel safe and comfortable in their presence? Do you feel happy? Excited? Calm? Most importantly, do you trust them? The gut check is such a simple test but often neglected. The stark reality is that on your wedding day, I’m the only one up there with you and your beloved as you share those vows. The planner, your mom, your best friend… everyone else are now silent and witnessing what is happening. So, in order for your ceremony to go brilliantly, you need to trust I will guide you through this amazing experience. After all, your wedding IS your ceremony. All of this time, money, and preparation is to celebrate what we do in that ceremony—publicly declare your marriage!

Wow, what incredible advice! It's no wonder that Marie is such a cherished partner within the Wedgewood Weddings family. If you would like to learn more about Marie, follow along with her wedding adventures on social media and her website.