7 Same-Sex Wedding Tips from your Fave Queer Coordinator

Hello loves! I have three years of experience as a wedding coordinator and twenty-five years of experience being queer (okay, ten knowingly). I myself am not yet married or engaged. However, due to the nature of my job, I spend a ridiculous amount of time thinking about my future wedding! Since I’m not sure when that will be... I thought I’d share some of my ideas with all of you - enjoy!

SEVEN TIPS FOR AN AMAZING SAME-SEX WEDDING

1. Find a team of wedding professionals that not only accepts your sexuality but celebrates it

Your wedding is a celebration of your love and commitment, after all! When meeting with new venues and vendors, they should make you feel truly comfortable and cared for. Don’t settle for less! And PLEASE do not be scared to ask straight-up how the business feels about LGBTQ+ couples. Their answers will tell you a lot! 

When searching for vendors & venues, take a look at their social media! Are they highlighting queer couples on their page? If not, that can be a yellow flag. It is possible they’re still huge allies that just haven’t gotten lucky enough to work with many same-sex couples so far. However, it could also be a show of bias. 

2. Have a joint bachelor(ette) party!

How fun would it be to have a joint bachelor(ette) party with your partner and ALL your loved ones (men, women, and enby alike)? The more the merrier! Celebrate with a weekend camping, a fun night out on the town, seeing your favorite drag artist perform, or a nice relaxing spa weekend- whatever best represents the two of you and your interests!

3. FOR ATTIRE, wear WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS

Whatever you want to wear! Two tuxedos, two dresses, one of each? Discuss this with your partner ahead of time if you want your outfits to match or “go together” in a sense. However, don’t be afraid to surprise each other and both wear what you want and whatever makes you feel most comfortable and YOU! Your wedding day isn’t all about aesthetics. 

4. CHOOSE HOW YOU'D LIKE TO WALK DOWN THE AISLE

You can totally take turns, just like most straight couples do. If you go this route, I recommend having the more stage-frightened partner walk down second so that they aren’t forced to stand up at the arch waiting for those extra few minutes. 

However, if you want to do something different- here’s some alternative options: 

• Walk down together!
• Walk simultaneously from opposite sides and meet each other in the middle at the arch (if your ceremony site allows). 

5. PUT TOGETHER AN INCLUSIVE PLAYLIST

Here are some amazing songs that are either gender-neutral or sung by a queer artist that you should consider including in your wedding day playlist!! Use these for your walk down the aisle, first dance, during dinner, or for the party!

• I Wanna Dance with Somebody by Whitney Houston
• It’s Raining Men by the Weather Girls
• We Fell in Love in October by Girl in Red
• Angel Baby by Troye Sivan
• My Prerogative by Britney Spears 
• Closer by Teagan and Sara
• Express Yourself by Madonna
• Enchanted (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift
• Glue Song by Beabadoobee
• If Only You Knew by Patti Labelle
• Love is Love by Culture Club
• I’m Coming Out by Diana Ross
• For The Girls by Hayley Kiyoko
• Freedom! ‘90 by George Michael
• Supermodel (You Better Work) by RuPaul
• HOT TO GO! by Chappell Roan

6. HAVE FUN WITH ACCESSORIES

We gays know how to have a good time. Liven up your dance floor by giving your guests fun props like light-up foam batons, funky glasses, or feather boas. I promise your guests will have fun with these, and you’ll love all the crazy dance floor photos to look back on. Not big dancers? That’s okay! You can throw fun props in at the photo booth or give your guests little pride flags to waive as you exit the ceremony! 

7. BE INTENTIONAL WITH YOUR GUEST LIST

I know a lot of us queer folk have some family members that aren’t fully accepting of who we love. Should they still be invited to the wedding? That’s a really heavy and hard-to-answer question that you’ll need to discuss in-depth with your partner. You’re putting a ton of thought, energy, and money into this day. You want to be surrounded by people who love and support you both. However, there can be certain situations that might make you want to include a loved one who isn’t the biggest ally. 

Just remember- this is your day, your life, your family, and whatever decision you make is okay. 

Working with queer couples is, hands-down, my favorite part of this job. Knowing the discomfort that can come with not fitting into our heteronormative society, I want to create supportive and loving environments for our community to get married and share their love. I hope you all have a beautiful wedding that encapsulates the love you and your partner have for each other.

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POST CONTRIBUTOR: JAIDYN COY

TRE BELLA BY WEDGEWOOD WEDDINGS